Tuesday, 2 August 2011

Lush’s guide to happy feet (review and shameful story)

I was browsing the lush website last week when I spotted Lush’s new ‘happy feet’ set (well I say new, it hasn’t actually got new products in it). The set contained a pot of Volcano foot mask, a pot of fair trade foot lotion and a stepping stone scrub. The idea is that you use each product in stages and, in turn, are left with super softer and (more importantly for the open toed shoe season) presentable feet. I thought I’d talk my mum into buying the set for herself and then steal some for a quick review. I’ll just go into some depth with the foot mask because that was the more involved treatment and I have nothing much to say about the other two, I mean they were ok but certainly nothing worth waffling about.
Volcano foot mask

This product was the one that most interested me in the set, Lush claims that it’s a ‘thick effective mask to draw out deep down dirt.’ Up until now I’ve never heard of nor considered the idea of applying a mask to my feet so I was pretty excited about giving this a go (I lead a sad life). When reading previous reviews I thought this would be pretty simple, just slap some on your feet, wrap in plastic and wait 10 minutes before washing it off however, I soon discovered that there was a particular etiquette to applying this so take note and don’t make the same mistakes I did!
Mistake #1 – Choosing my white carpeted bedroom as my destination for application.
Lush were right to describe this mask as ‘thick’. Honestly, it really is! When applying it I soon realised that it dried and solidified really quickly leaving huge clumps of it stubbornly attached to your hands. This meant it was a bit of a nightmare to put either the plastic bags or cling film (I personally choose cling film as my wrapping, deciding that a Tesco’s bag would have set of an unintentional tramp look far too well) around your feet. I therefore found myself stranded in the middle of my room with one foot weighed down by a spicy smelling clay mask hence being unable to walk. At this point I knew I had two decisions. I could either do the unthinkable and place my foot on the white carpet and forever listen to the outrage of my mother (‘do you know how much I paid for that carpet?!’) or I could hop like a demented creature to the bathroom. The latter option was undeniably more shameful however, needs must and I began to tap into my primary school speciality of being able to hop the egg and spoon race (yes, you heard me right, I was forced to hop the egg and spoon race by a sour faced teacher who should thank her lucky stars that, aged 9, I didn’t know the number for childline). Luckily all that practice had paid off and I got to the bathroom and managed to awkwardly wash my hands and wrap the cling film. By now I could feel the mask heating up over my foot and I was pretty confident that it was doing what it was meant to be doing. I quickly applied the mask to my other foot, washed my hands and wrapped the cling film as I had done before leaving me with a look that I’m sure will be a huge hit in autumn 2011.

Mistake #2 – Ignoring ‘VIRGIN MAN PM’ written on the calendar. I applied this mask and cling film duo thinking I was home alone with only El Barno (a black Labrador who is, shamefully, the most attractive member of our household) present to judge me. This was true until I heard a knock at the door by which time I’m thinking ‘omg fml’ and a selection of other negative acronyms that I’ve picked up from my time searching the urban dictionary. I opened the door to find a man (somewhat attractive may I add) carrying a tool box and wearing a virgin media polo shirt. Now on the social awkward scale I would say that, like myself, he was around an eight. However, the presence of my cling film filled feet (nice bit of alliteration there) rocketed his (and mine) awkwardness up to a big fat 10. Even worse was the fact that he didn’t even acknowledge them but instead pretended it was normal which was very courteous of him but left a very uncomfortable atmosphere. After what felt like years but in reality was around 30 seconds he told me that he had received a letter of complaint and was here to change our box. Erm yeah, I did send a letter of complaint (a favourite pass time of mine) – last summer. What is it they say? The ship’s already sailed my friend. Usually I would point such a poor service out but I just didn’t feel it was socially acceptable for the idiot/ tramp with cling film plastered to the soles of their feet to have an opinion. I expressed my outrage by not offering him a drink and left him in the living room while I ran upstairs to quickly wash the mask off. By the time I got down he was done, said his goodbyes and hurried out of the door.
So did it work?
Well, over all I would say that the mask has improved the state of my feet. After first taking the mask off it was like walking on air and the skin on the bottom of my feet had definitely softened. I was also pretty pleased with the way it had cleaned them, successfully removing discoloured areas (a result of wearing open shoes for the past month) and leaving them baby pink. They’re fit for two weeks in Turkey now and I’ve already ordered my second pot of ‘volcano’ so I can carry on using it throughout the summer. Try it out yourself!
Ha, I’ve only just realised how long this post is! Thank you for reading!


Holly said...

Oh my god Tessa I cannot stop laughing! The fact that something was only done about your letter that reffered to twist and pulse being a 'visual feast' whilst your feet were wrapped up like sandwiches fills me with utter joy!xx

Rachel said...

You had me laughing too I love how you told the story, sounds majorly awkward! poor little virgin man... on the plus side it sounds like the product works miracles so may have to give it a got too :p xx

Beth said...

you just are a comedic genius, haha! sounds pretty good though, trying it asap cos' my feet are bleugh x

ramz and the flock

We Are The Crowd said...

Haha! I love your writing style! The product does sound good tho - I may have to try it out :) We followed <3

Love Ellen

Anita said...

Nice post.

Katie said...

I get horrible cracks on my heels so I'm going to have to try this out :)

AnnestGwynedd said...

You're a very entertaining writer! interesting post :) X


Rachel said...

Hahaha what a hilarious story! It's ironic that we often look so silly when beautifying ourselves! Sounds like a good product but I am a bit wary of foot softening products - I used a ped egg once and it really hurt to walk afterwards...that hard skin is there for a reason haha x

Jessica said...

Haha awh that really made me laugh, took their time sorting your problem out didn't they!
Thanks for the comment it was lovely, penguins are my favourite animal, so cute :)
I've followed back, really like the way you write and I look forward to your future posts and embarrassing stories :P


Jazzy E (hivenn) said...

Ahahah you poor thing! All of lush's feet products are lovely. x hivenn

--Sanam-- said...

Omg seriously?! :D That must've been so awkward for you when he came knocking at the door. But atleast the treatment works :) So you got something out of that experience other than embarassment ;) How much did the mask cost?


Danielle said...

Haha, wow, that is the best story ever! You should write to Lush, tell them about your situation and demand that they deliver some freebies to your door! Put your complaint letter habit to good use! ;D

Charlotte oxo said...

pahhahahaha :) if you like volcano you should try stepping stone, its really good and smells like lemon ice cream :) its left my feet feeling really silky soft!

♥ Sadie ♥ said...

Great review, poor Virgin man haha.

Sadie x